Happy Healthy Daughters

My thoughts on Boris’s war on Obesity.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this over the last week. I’ve been reading lots and talked to my sister about it as well. So here are my thoughts:

1. Fat shaming/blaming is neither helpful nor productive. People know if they are overweight. They have probably done every diet under the sun, lost some weight and put it all back on again, blaming themselves for their lack of self control and then start the whole process again.

2. Counting calories only adds to the guilt and feast and famine cycle. People restrict by counting calories and then binge because their body is trying to tell them how hungry they are. You then feel really guilty about eating and the cycle starts again. This not only adds to your stress and anxiety but also completely messes up your metabolism.

3. We need to look into the causes of obesity. Obesity is a symptom not a disease in itself. This will look different for everybody. A good start would be with primary school children. Encouraging children to have positive feelings around food and exercise and promoting body positivity whatever size, shape or colour.

4. Finally (for now): we need to see a much more diverse range of people on TV, social media etc. That includes size, skin colour and all genders. And maybe most importantly we need to break down the idea that thin = healthy.

Please share your thoughts and comment below. I am really happy to discuss things further. I would really appreciate hearing from dietitians on this topic.

‘Girls’ Vs ‘Boys’ Clothes

For a few years now it seems clothing companies have been under scrutiny for their very genderised clothing for children. And while things may have changed a little bit (Clarks now do a couple of pairs of harder wearing shoes for girls), there still seems to be a massive disparity between how boys and girls are perceived.

I took this photo a few weeks ago when looking for summer clothes for my 5 year old. I couldn’t find any shorts of a decent length that were practical for climbing, jumping going for walks in etc. So I ended up buying boys shorts, not for the first time and I suspect not for the last.

Why are we giving young girls the impression at such a young age that they shouldn’t be as adventurous as boys? Why are we letting them believe that clothes are to make you look good and not be comfortable and tough enough so they can play?

The clothing companies will inevitably say that they stock what sells but if they only stock ‘fashion’ clothes for girls then that is all that is available to buy! It’s a catch 22 situation. You are probably thinking, ‘why doesn’t she just buy her girls boys clothes then?’ And I regularly do. But when shopping with your own children they pick up on all the marketing that surrounds them. From a very young age they are internalising what makes a girl a girl and it becomes increasingly difficult to challenge that.

As much as I would like to be I am not their only role model. They are also influenced by their friends, teachers, other family members, TV shows, adverts, films etc etc. Just as we as adults are they are being constantly bombarded with information about what women should look like, how they should behave and what happens if you don’t for into that ideal. But I hope that as their mother I can continue to have a significant positive influence over them and also have such a relationship with them that they feel able to share their worries and concerns about what it is to be a girl/woman.

Joyful Movement?!

I have been doing exercise quite regularly since my youngest was born 5 years ago but always hated running. I felt I was never fast enough, couldn’t run far enough etc etc. I would be part of running groups on social media and compare myself to other runners. Runners who enter races all the time, runners who run half marathons or full marathons for fun and never felt good enough. I never felt like I could call myself a runner. I started couch to 5 k at the beginning of lockdown and then ran my first ever 8 miles just a few weeks ago.

What I’ve come to realise in the last few weeks however is that it doesn’t matter how far or how fast I run. It also doesn’t matter if I don’t compete in any races. It also doesn’t matter how many calories I burn out whether it helps me to lost weight. What matters is that I am moving and when I’m not competing or comparing myself to anyone else I actually enjoy it!

Today’s run didn’t quite go to plan. After a couple of weeks off (because it was far too hot to run on holiday) I pushed myself too hard and my knee started to twinge. Resulting in me having to walk the last mile. A month ago this would have put me in a bad mood and I would have possibly restricted my eating because I hadn’t burned off enough calories. But today it felt different. Today I was running for me. Today I was just enjoying the time on my own to listen to a podcast and be out in nature. I think today I finally discovered what joyful movement really means.

Adventurous eating!

Last night was my wedding anniversary. It was also the last night of our holiday in France so we decided to all go out for dinner in St Malo. It’s an amazing seaside walled town with loads of restaurants so we were totally spoiled for choice.

We asked the girls what they would like for dinner. And all 3 of them said they wanted mussels! Thankfully that wasn’t difficult to find and even most of the children’s menus included Moules Frites. It struck me then maybe this wasn’t a usual choice for 3 British children to have for dinner?

I have always loved seafood and my husband and I are fairly adventurous eaters and always encourage our children to try new things.

But does this improve body image and out relationship with food? I would like to say so, yes. Eating becomes a fun and sociable activity. When we eat as a family we chat and laugh together. They will hopefully be learning to associate eating with positive feelings and emotions.

By eating a good variety of food are our body’s more able to tell us what nutrients they really need, helping us to crave the correct foods? This is a question I would need to ask a dietitian. So I’ll need to get back to you on that one!

What things do you like to do as a family that encourage your children to try new foods? Are you an adventurous eater? Do you think that encourages your children to try new foods?

My Epiphany!

I recently read a book called The F*CK It Diet by Caroline Dooner. If you haven’t read it yet go do it now, it will probably change your life!

I have been trying to lose weight since I was 15 even when I have had a very healthy BMI! Which has obviously given me a very messed up view of food, eating and body image. A little while ago my 10 year old asked why her hips were wider than her friends and I knew something had to change.

I do not want my daughters to grow up believing that their worth is in how much they weigh or how little they eat. I do not want my daughters growing up hating their bodies and comparing themselves to their friends/family/celebrities. I want my daughters to love their bodies, love moving, and also enjoy food.

In order for this to happen I have to start with me. This blog is going to be my journey to eating intuitively and loving my own body and hopefully leading by example and encouraging my girls to do the same.

I am not a fitness guru (although I do enjoy exercising), I am not a dietitian or nutritionist (but I do enjoy cooking family meals). I am simply a mum who wants to love her own body and wants her daughters to love theirs.

I will have so many questions along the way and will be looking for people to help me answer them. And hopefully they will be questions that other parents have wanted to ask but never knew where to look.

So my journey starts here to a happy, healthy family.